THE FIRST 5 YEARS FROM 2003 UNDER ARLENE’S CARE

The first year was extremely challenging physically and mentally with chemotherapy, radiotherapy and 13 consultations,  9 with Arlene. But the three things I particularly remember are all positive – Arlene encouraging my involvement, her focus on maintaining a normal life style and the empathy and trust she created with us. At Pam’s first consultation with Arlene in April 2003, Arlene encouraged my attendance at the consultation; during Pam’s journey with cancer I attended some 50 of Pam’s consultations with Arlene. The side effects of some of the treatments, particularly the chemotherapy and radiotherapy were extremely debilitating. However Arlene’s approach of wherever possible scheduling consultations and treatments to allow her patients to enjoy their normal lifestyle allowed Pam  and me to enjoy a fabulous four day break at Broome’s Cable Beach Resort between her 4th and two final chemo sessions and 3 months later to enjoy 3 weeks in the SW of France before starting radiotherapy. It was amazing how helpful these breaks away from treatment were for Pam. For some, Arlene’s empathy with her patients might seem to be understated. It never was for us with the warm welcome and smile at the start of every consultation and the high five when Arlene cleared Pam at the end of the 5 years.

THE NEXT 10 YEARS FROM 2008 – ‘CANCER FREE’

The next 10 years were really about what we managed to do during these so called ‘cancer free’ years. A lot of travel including boating in France, a cooking school in Italy, New Zealand twice, Vietnam and visits to every state in Australia during which we travelled 90,000km and spent a total of nearly 2 years in our camper trailer and caravan. It also included Pam setting up her Lovely Smocking Ladies group as well as the West Coast Community smocking ladies, St Phillips Cottesloe smocking and ultimately the PYNKS smocking ladies, all of whom smocked fortnightly on behalf of the BCRC-WA. At one point during this period, Pam was hospitalised for 4 days with the cause of the problem never satisfactorily diagnosed. Arlene was consulted in case it was cancer related. Fortunately, it was not but I still recall Arlene saying with a smile “You had me worried Pam”.

THE FINAL 3 YEARS FROM 2018 UNDER ARLENE’S CARE AGAIN BUT NOW WITH THE ADDITIONAL SUPPORT OF THE BCRC-WA.

Like that first year in 2003, these final 3 years were challenging physically and mentally but so much less than they might have been. By this time Arlene had established the BCRC-WA and PYNKS and Arlene and her team at BCRC-WA made an immense contribution to the enjoyment Pam and I had of those last 3 years. Again Arlene’s focus on lifestyle allowed us to undertake trips to Thailand, New Zealand, Melbourne, an annual 3 month winter escape to Broome 3 of our annual one month Christmas stays at Parry Beach Camping Ground, 4 annual Busselton Cinefest Film Festivals and just under 6 months away in our beloved caravan; it allowed Pam and the Lovely Smocking Ladies to raise some $10,000 for BCRC-WA by sale of smocked dresses; and pre-hospitalisation it allowed Pam to attend the PYNKS get-togethers at Zamia. This in turn resulted in her teaching some of the PYNKS group how to smock. Pam and the PYNKS smocking ladies continued having fun smocking right up to 6 weeks before her death. This PYNKS camaraderie was extended to texting between PYNKS members with the hospital named ‘the Resort’, Arlene ‘the Resort Manager’, being discharged ‘being evicted’, chemo in the day ward going to ‘the day spa’, and scans/xrays ‘a photo shoot’, ’with cocktails’ if contrast was required.

But Arlene and the BCRC-WA had also moved into new premises with the obvious benefit of having much easier access to the increasing range of technical resources Arlene had and was continuing to build up. However for us there were other less obvious benefits – Einsteins excellent little cafe on the 4th floor provided extra opportunity for Pam and me to interact with Arlene’s staff in a less formal manner; and more convenient parking, significantly cheaper if use of the free 15 minute drop-off and pick-up facility was optimised. Finally and most importantly, people. I am not great on naming people but three do deserve special mention:

• On our first visit to BCRC-WA’s new facility, Kylie was at reception and dealing with 4 parties simultaneously, 3 on 2 phones and us at the counter. Unflustered she handled all 4 with calm and courtesy. Pam and I immediately named her Kylie the Wonder Woman. Some time later at home, Pam’s health deteriorated suddenly to the extent of needing immediate hospitalisation. My call to BCRC-WA for help was answered by Kylie, half an hour later we were met at hospital reception and Pam taken immediately to a room in Gosse Ward.
• Pam and I constantly needed advice on how to deal with all the ups and downs of those last three years of her life and Amanda Goddard was always available to give it and to organise at very short notice the necessary facilities and treatment – on at least 2 occasions, she organised Pam’s admission to hospital at very short notice; from her diary I know how much Pam valued Amanda’s care during her final 12 days in hospital; and Pam’s move to the “special large room” which Amanda organised for her final week made all the difference to Pam’s last few days.
• When the return of Pam’s cancer was diagnosed 4 years ago, life expectancy for someone in her condition was of the order of 12 months. Arlene and her BCRC-WA team made a major contribution to Pam managing an extra 2 years and allowed her to enjoy 3 years of doing the things she loved with the people she loved, an enjoyment which I shared. But Arlene also ensured that during the last 12 months of her life Pam experienced little pain and discomfort, particularly during the last few weeks. Arlene personally managed Pam’s last 24 hours to ensure a truly peaceful end, free of pain and discomfort with her closest friend and me by her side, holding her hands when she died.

THE 6 MONTHS SINCE PAM DIED.

It is now 6 months since Pam died and friends assume that I must be missing her. I feel almost guilty when I say that to date  I am not, using being busy with executor duties as an excuse.  But the reality is that one of the major reasons is that Arlene Chan and the BCRC-WA helped us manage those last 19 years so well that the transition to life without Pam so far has been almost seamless. Contact with friends stimulates memories of the many things we managed to do and the fun we shared together during those years. And these memories invariably have a picture of Pam smiling at me.